Has A Significant Loss Shaken The Very Foundations Of Your Identity And Is Causing You To Feel Disoriented And Debilitated?
Nobody is prepared for grief. And after a life-altering loss, grief can disrupt your everyday functioning and self-perception, leaving you confused about your place in the world and your sense of self.
Suddenly, you feel disconnected from who you were before the loss and uncertain about who you will become and what your purpose in life is. You may be feeling isolated from your social circle and unable to concentrate on anything but your loss.
Emotions that arise when you grieve can range in intensity, and grief may take different shapes for different people.
The common denominator among all types of grief is loss, and you may be surprised by the kinds of losses that can spark these emotions. One person may find themself grieving the end of an abusive relationship. Another might feel relieved after a friend or relative passes away because their loved one is no longer suffering from a terminal illness.
Why Is Grief So Physically And Emotionally Painful?
Grief hurts because it’s personal. It forces you to accept a new “normal.”
Others don’t always understand what you’re going through, or your grief doesn’t feel “warranted.” But most importantly, grief is painful because your body experiences the loss, too.
When you’re grieving, your brain releases a flood of neurochemicals and hormones. This disruption of hormones in your body typically results in disturbed sleep, loss of appetite, fatigue, and anxiety. In fact, the same brain regions that are affected in a traumatic brain injury are activated by deep emotional pain like grief.
Ultimately, grief should be transitory. It will be painful, but it should be something that you’re able to eventually overcome and live through—and with. However, if you’ve been struggling with symptoms of grief for a long period of time with little relief, it may be time to seek support from an empathetic therapist.
Have any questions? Send us a message!
People Can Have Wide-Ranging Experiences With Grief
Understanding how many people experience the grieving process can help you see that your feelings and reactions are not irrational or shameful.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, a grief expert, developed a model to explain several stages of grief that people often go through after a loss:
Denial – You know that your loved one is gone, but the reality hasn’t sunken in, and sometimes, it feels like they could walk right around the corner. Denial is a defense mechanism that helps you buffer the immediate reaction to the shock of loss.
Anger – You might ask “What did I do to deserve this?” or feel anger toward the person you lost. Of course, you know they aren’t to blame, but emotionally, you might resent them for leaving you.
Bargaining – Through bargaining, you hold on to hope when experiencing deep pain. You may think to yourself “If I did X” or “If I said Y,” you wouldn’t have lost your loved one.
Depression – Depression is a natural response to grief and may present as fatigue, sleep disruption, low motivation, and loss of appetite.
Acceptance – Acceptance involves acknowledging and living with the loss, and readjusting your life in response to it. This doesn’t mean you’ll never feel sad or angry again, but you accept these are natural, transitory emotions.
Identifying the Different Kinds of Grief
-
Traumatic grief accompanies loss that is unexpected, sudden, or feels earth-shattering. Such a loss often triggers post-trauma survival mechanisms that an individual experiences simultaneously with the mourning process. The degree of surprise that leads to traumatic grief varies from one person to the next.
Some people may experience delayed grief after a traumatic loss, wherein their suppressed grief after the loss of a loved one appears at a time that they least expect because of an unrelated or related trigger. Some may experience masked grief, where their grief manifests as physical symptoms or other maladaptive behaviors that they are unable to recognize as symptoms of grief.
-
Anticipatory grief is when we are able to prepare ourselves for the loss of something or someone. The grieving process begins long before the loss of that person. For example, an individual who loses a loved one to a terminal illness after months or years might experience anticipatory grief.
The bereavement arc in anticipatory grief may be surprising to some. They may struggle deeply prior to the loss but feel no grief afterward.
-
Complicated grief can make you feel “stuck.” People who suffer from complicated grief are unable to escape feeling lost, alone, and catastrophic. Grief becomes a painful constant companion. At some point, they may need professional support to help them differentiate between dysfunctional and healthy bereavement.
Grief Can Feel Like An Emotional Rollercoaster
Everyone grieves differently. Some people may not go through the typical stages of the grieving process. Others might experience two or three in a different order. The bottom line is, rather than a linear progression of stages, grief is messy—with unexpected ups and downs and without a set schedule for when it ends. No matter where you are in your journey, a skilled grief therapist can help you adapt to your loss and gain a sense of purpose in life again.
A Compassionate Counselor Can Support You Through The Grieving Process
At Repose, many of our trauma-informed therapists specialize in grief counseling and approach therapy with an inclusive lens to provide a safe, non-judgmental space to heal.
We recognize the importance of cultural competence and responsiveness in grief therapy and embrace cultural differences as a vital part of the healing process. People across cultures experience and express grief differently, and we are committed to providing care that is aligned with the cultural values and traditions of our clients.
What To Expect In Grief Counseling Sessions
We offer several types of grief therapy depending on your specific circumstances and needs.
For example, through individual psychotherapy, your counselor will help you process personal loss and trauma. Marriage counseling and couples therapy can aid you in healing from the grief of ambiguous losses that are often experienced through anticipated separation or divorce. And family grief counseling enables family units to process loss together, whether it is the loss of a relative, identity, home, or culture.
Additionally, our team includes maternal wellness specialists who help support clients through the unique grief associated with fertility struggles, miscarriages, perinatal and postnatal depression, and infant or child loss.
Treatment Approaches For Grief Counseling
Our therapists draw from these wide-ranging modalities to guide you in addressing the emotional, physical, cognitive, cultural, and spiritual aspects of the grief healing process.
-
EMDR helps those who have experienced traumatic loss to process and integrate distressing memories, reducing the intensity of grief-related symptoms.
-
This body-centered approach helps people attune to their bodily sensations, releasing stored tension and fostering a sense of safety.
-
These techniques can assist with managing emotions and physical symptoms associated with grief, promoting relaxation and emotional regulation.
-
AEDP aids our clients to connect with core emotions in a safe environment, transforming suffering into resilience.
-
DBT provides tools for managing intense emotions and building emotional resilience to help clients cope with the overwhelming feelings that grief can bring.
-
CBT aids with identifying and challenging unhelpful thought patterns related to their grief, reducing feelings of hopelessness.
-
This approach delves into the unconscious processes and past experiences that influence current behavior and assists in understanding how grief affects a person’s present life.
-
Art Therapy allows clients to express their grief through visual means, providing a non-verbal outlet for emotions and memories, while Dance & Movement Therapy enables the exploration and release of grief through movement. Both can help with healing when traditional talk therapies feel inadequate.
-
This emerging modality supports clients in integrating the insights gained from psychedelic experiences. It helps process and make meaning of transformative experiences related to grief, promoting deeper emotional healing.
-
Grief is an incredibly difficult and painful experience, but this intense emotional upheaval can also offer you a chance to explore and deepen your spiritual and personal growth. Throughout the grieving process, you might develop a more profound appreciation for life, engage in new spiritual practices, and realign your life around new core values—honoring your loss while also embracing new possibilities.
Let Us Help You Rebuild A Meaningful Life After Loss
At Repose, we can help you honor your loved one while moving through the process of healing from grief in a collaborative fashion with the support of your therapist.
We provide online grief counseling for clients in New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut and in-person therapy in NYC and Pleasantville. To begin your healing journey, please schedule a 15-minute consultation through our contact form.
During your intake session, our somatic intake practitioner will evaluate your physical symptoms and learn more about your grieving experiences, allowing you to begin therapy from a place of somatic awareness. Once you begin grief counseling with Repose, you’ll meet with your therapist weekly. After your first session, our concierge team will follow up with you to ensure you had a positive experience.
But You May Still Have Questions About Grief Counseling…
-
When it comes to healing from grief, there is no set timeline. No matter where you are in your healing journey, your therapist will provide you with guidance and support, allowing you to take steps forward at your own pace.
-
In therapy, you will never be pressured to share anything you’re not ready to discuss. Furthermore, your therapist can draw from modalities like EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, and expressive therapies like Art and Dance Movement so that you can focus on healing without having to discuss specific details of your grief.
-
Therapy can help you understand the roots of your physical symptoms and manage them in your daily life through holistic approaches like breathwork, somatic experiencing, and EMDR.
