Healing from Sexual Violence: Staying Rooted and Practicing Safety & Coping Skills
Sexual violence, including but not limited to sexual assault, child sexual abuse, domestic or intimate partner violence, is an unspoken, stigmatized, and unfortunately common experience within many South Asian communities. The silence that individuals endure for the sake of self-preservation against family, community, and the larger direct effects of shame, blame, guilt, can take an immense toll on one's emotional health and result in post-traumatic stress.
Symptoms of PTS can include nightmares, intrusive thinking, hypervigilance, sense of loss, and distrust of others. Somatization of sexual violence can also manifest emotionally, resulting in anger, anxiety, despair, as well as physically, resulting in fatigue, chest pain, and headaches. These are common and normative responses to sexual violence. Often, it can be the body’s natural process of defending and protecting against external forces.
Often, with sexual violence, it can become difficult to go into the body, almost as unsafe as it may feel going into the mind and listening to the negative self-talk that occurs. So with the body and the mind feeling unsafe, what is there to then focus on?
Moving into the here and now. Centering yourself in the physical space you are already existing in can help you slow down your thoughts as well as reduce somatic manifestations. Overtime, it can bring gradual awareness to the tremendous amounts of resilience and strength you are already demonstrating. Focusing on the present will allow you to detangle from feelings of self-doubt, helplessness, and whatever else you may be experiencing. At times, it may even become difficult to recognize how you are truly feeling — you may be operating on autopilot, in survival mode. Slowing down, and moving into the present will allow you to not only slow down thoughts but allow you to recognize emotions and arising needs.
So what does moving into the present look like?
Connecting with community, friends, and loved ones that can hold safe spaces for you - It can be easy to isolate yourself but doing so can exacerbate symptoms of anxiety and loneliness.
Identifying your unique needs - Everyone heals differently, something that works for one survivor may not necessarily work for you.
Checking in with your body and your emotions - If your emotions could speak to you, what would they want to communicate?
Practicing coping skills - Awareness of already existing coping skills can help you alter or increase the frequency in which you are coping and practicing safety strategies.
Taking “Time Out” - There is information all over about sexual assault, whether it’s on social media, in the news, in conversations in public. This can be triggering. It’s okay to take some time away from things that are causing harm.
Finding creative outlets - Grab some paper, a pencil, a marker, your headphones and a playlist, whatever you have near you. Whatever you’re feeling, whatever your experiences are, try externalizing them onto paper. If it’s too overwhelming, you can scrap it afterwards. Just allow yourself to release whatever you’re holding that is weighing you down.
Know that you don’t have to do this alone. Therapy can be a holding space that allows you to explore, process, reclaim, or find whatever you need.
Healing from sexual violence might include reclaiming your voice, mind, and body. It may look entirely different. Healing is not linear but instead is a process that is unique to each person. Wherever you are in your healing journey, know that you are not alone, that we believe you, and we are here to hold space for you in whatever way aligns with your process. CONNECT WITH US to learn more about TRAUMA THERAPY.