What's Makes Your Identity: Understanding Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT)
Emotions are key to identity. This is the core premise of EFT. According to EFT, emotions guide all human choices and decisions. It operates under the notion that a lack of emotional awareness leads to a harmful conscious existence. It seeks to make known the unknown, in the safety of a non-judgmental therapeutic space. EFT is a well-renowned humanistic approach to psychotherapy developed in the 1908’s. It is heavily based on the science of adult-attachment theory.
Attachment theory sees the human spirit as being inherently relational - seeking social and intimate bonding with those around us. EFT prioritizes emotional regulation as the key ingredient in navigating one’s individual experience and their relational interactions. EFT is seen to be most effective in working with couples, but is also frequently used to treat anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress.
Understanding EFT for Couples
EFT is a short-term approach to couples therapy that is structured in its format. It typically lasts between 8-20 sessions. It is meant to help couples expand and recognize their emotions responses, and in tandem also help themselves to organize the self; it seeks to create a positive shift in couples’ interactions and patterns of communication; and it seeks to ground the relationship in a secure attachment.
What are some techniques used in EFT?
EFT works through a change process that consists of 9 exact steps across 3 stages. This helps the therapist and client to clearly track their progress together.
De-Escalation
In this step the primary focus is placed on identifying negative interaction patterns that may be contributing to the couples’ conflict, naming and identifying negative emotions that are related to the couples’ individual attachment ruptures, and reframing these issues. This allows couples to take a step back and observe how their partner’s fears and insecurities may be playing out in their relationship. Couples then are able to learn to be more emotionally attuned, grow empathy, and strengthen their attachment to one another.
Restructuring
In this stage of the change process, each partner learns how to share their emotions, whilst also showing acceptance and compassion for the emotions of the other. This stage’s primary goal is to reduce conflict, whilst strengthening the couple's emotional bond.
Consolidation
In this final stage, an EFT therapist helps the couple build new communication skills, and facilitates practice of these new skills. This stage allows couples the opportunity to employ all of their newly learned skills and tools. This stage witnesses new sequences of bonding interactions whilst ridding of old and more harmful patterns. These new patterns then become self-reinforcing and lead to long-lasting change.
What to expect with your EFT Therapist at Repose
At Repose, our staff are trained in the use and implementation of EFT. Unlike other forms of therapy, your EFT therapist at Repose takes a more active role in the therapeutic process. You can expect your therapist to observe your interaction with your partner(s) whilst also serving as a collaborator in coaching and directing new ways of interacting. The bulk of the emotional work in EFT is done IN session, as opposed to outside of session. Our EFT therapist(s) are empathetic, skilled, compassionate, and deeply experienced. With them you can be sure to see change and mutual healing. If you think this form of therapy may benefit you, or your relationship, schedule a 15-minute consultation here with our client concierge about couples therapy. If you feel like you and your partner(s) would be better suited using another couples therapeutic modality, click here to learn about other couples offerings at Repose.
We are here to help and guide you along your journey of healing.